Dr. Mike Reddy FRSA / @DoctorMikeReddy

 

I was born on the living room carpet in a small semi-detached house in Heswall on the Wirral in the UK

 

Cwmaman, in South Wales – where the Stereophonics band hail from.

 

Lunar Lander (Arcade)

 

Hundreds (iPhone), frustratingly hard and a cruel mistress

 

Where to start? I was massively tall for my age, but “different” (being on the Autistic spectrum) and completely lacking in social skills. Abuse ranged from sexual assault, physical battering and mental torture. I was an easy target, being afraid most of the time, and feeling broken; so it was my fault, right? Sadly, I came from a family where my father was more brutal than some of the kids, but part of that was his own inability to handle anger from his own stressful life. This is something I have to deal with myself now. One of the negatives of being bullied is that it echoes forever.

 

It took a long time to truly get over it, and my wife (a trainee psychotherapist) still says I carry a lot of anger, but recognition that things were done to me that I did not deserve was the first step. It was an unhappy childhood, but check this out as a representation of how I see what could otherwise be a dark period from my childhood: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFhgupR565Q

 

The positive part is the ability to stick to my guns when I know I’m right, even if winning is impossible. I still have to “strangle the serpent” as the default is to take criticism as an attack, which means I respond badly sometimes. Instinctively, I learned as a child to work out who was to blame, I guess to reassure myself it wasn’t me, but that inevitably leads to confrontational thinking, which can itself be a problem.

 

I’ve learned that Fear is no longer an effective weapon. When people try to use it, which is more often than people may think (bullying happens in the work place and for adults too!), I can see it coming. I’m very highly principled as a result. I try (note “try”) to direct the anger into passion.

 

Hell, I get paid £50k a year to play and make games, construct robots and design toys. Eat that bully!

 

Not at the time. It was a long dark tunnel of sadness. But that just drove me to work harder, and released a creative side (as escape?) that has served me well in my adult life.

 

The bad as well as the good will forge who you will become as an adult. I’m strangely tied to the bullying I suffered, as it too became a part of who I am, even though I would rather it hadn’t happened and wouldn’t wish the same experience on anyone. The key is to recognise that you can choose how it affects you. Bullies were most often bullied themselves. They made the wrong choice. You don’t have to. Be creative. Tell your own story. In a video game, or a board game, or a piece of art or a poem. Most of all, talk to others about how bullying makes you feel. It’s hard to hate someone when you know their story. Oh, and if you ever see David Seaton, tell him I do regret smashing that chair on him, but he was still a dick. And Nicholas Such, hope your smashed nose grew back straight, as my broken knuckle never did. Fighting, you see, doesn’t really work.